George W. Bush caused the Cubs to lose to the Marlins in Game 7 of the National League Championship Series so that SUV owners could invade welfare recipients.
You can personalize your own Bush conspiracy or randomly generate one here. Link via BBspot.
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Hey, that one might be true! Just because you’re a paranoid Cubs fan doesn’t mean they’re not out to get welfare recipients.
Although Cubs fans have little reason to be paranoid - they’re already quite fatalistic as it is.