Good Grief!

It looks like Mr. Grammar Person isn’t a recurring feature in the Herald Tribune. Too bad. Here’s another example of Mr. Person’s wisdom (from Monday’s column):

MR. GRAMMAR PERSON! - Dear Mr. Grammar Person:

I am a 13-year-old middle school student. On a recent grammar test I wrote: “Jason and me shared a cheeseburger.” My teacher said that is wrong. What do you think? - Vexed in Vermont

Dear Vexed: Your teacher is correct. You risk contracting any of a number of communicable diseases by sharing a cheeseburger with Jason, particularly if he is not wearing a condom. However, Mr. Grammar Person would give you half-credit if you followed federal guidelines on low-carbohydrate consumption and ate the cheeseburger without the bun.

Well, Mr. Grammar Person was fun while he lasted. If you want to read more, he does have a regular column that covers some of the following:

• sensitivty training for dictators
• phoney statistics about soulless college students
• California’s feng shui problems