If a guy has enough hutspur to wear a thong on the beach, more power too him.

You guys from the sub-polar regions of the planet have no concept of what looks good on the beach. It would take you a decade of living in the tropics to figure out the locals wear very little on the beach. In time you would figure out that the guys in long dork-shorts and the women in the one-piece swimsuits are from up north.

Color, wear any color you like so long as it does not clash. Don’t let some idiot talk you into “umber this fall” or other such trash. You are not the stage crew for some one else’s show so you don’t have to wear black. Be colorful, your life is not a dress rehearsal, you are the star.

Every day make sure some one is aghast at what you are wearing. You are not on the cutting edge of anything if everyone thinks you are “very nice”. You cant be bold by being timid.

You are not risking anything if you are always playing it safe. If you don’t risk you will not make mistakes. If you don’t make mistakes you will never learn from them. If you never learn in this life, forget it, you don’t get a second chance.

My god, you want to kill your self because some one wears leg warmers? Get real!! What matters is what you wear, not what some one else wears.

Personally I can think of some good 80’s and 90’s styles that I would like back. Women in brightly colored thong leotards in the gym. It’s better eye candy than the current stupid look of long black flared pants for workouts. Long black pants for sweating?

We need bright spandex back. That way teens will have to start to exercise and eat right instead of covering up the fat with oversized floppy pants and black XL shirts.

Black is slimming when it’s a form fitting bikini, but not when it’s garbage bag fashion.

The ultimate fashion accessory in 2005 is a road or tri bike. Bianchi, Lightspeed, take your pick. I know, half you plonkers don’t know how to accessaries that outfit, just don’t know the difference between Campagnolo or Ultegra. But then again, you hicks don’t know nothing about no real I-talian fashion.

For the love of God, people, stand your ground.

Please America, keep your cool, literally. Keep your fashion-sense in check, do not, I repeat, do not give in to the pressure of foreign fads.

Since I have your attention, I have to ask a favor: please wipe down the gym equipment after you use it. You expose the seats to a bit more upper thigh flesh than most of us would like.