Pornographic cats? WWJD?

It is 8:54 PM, and Lititz is in for the night. Hence, the Friday evening post. What? You’ve never heard of Lititz? I’m sure I’ll write about it someday, but right now, all you need to know is that Lititz is a small town in conservative Lancaster County, Pennsylvania (home of the Amish and the venerable shoo fly pie).

The daily newspaper around here is the Lancaster New Era, which is a big timesaver since you can read the entire thing in about five minutes—maybe ten on Sundays. Right now I’m looking at yesterday’s editorial page:

  • Kathy K thinks that putting Purina Dog Chow advertisements in Buchanan Park would be a bad idea.
  • JoAnn N says that a drive-through Starbucks would be a welcome sight on the Manheim Pike.
  • Michelle D is mad because Cats, now showing at the Dutch Apple Dinner Theater, is not for kids:
    …There were many sexually suggestive dances with women shaking their breasts and men and women rubbing against each other and dancing provocatively together. The great “Jellicle Ball” seemed more like an orgy.
    [snip]
    This is not the first time…Last year, my children and I attended Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat at the Fulton Opera House…I was appalled by the suggestive and provocative dancing and acting.

Michelle might be on to something. Several years ago, my brother reported an incident at the Ephrata Playhouse production of Jesus Christ, Superstar. There was a garb-slippage incident when Jesus was on the cross, resulting in quite a show. Finally, one of the other actors managed to pull Jesus’ garment back up by pretending to slap him on the ass. What is this town coming to?

By the way, I totally rule for writing a post that invokes the singular proper possessive Jesus clause.

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14 Responses to “Pornographic cats? WWJD?”  

  1. Gravatar Icon 1 Frank Warner

    The Jesus’ apostrophe is just right.

    You rule, Becky!

    Hey, have you seen that “Noah” play at the Sight and Sound Theater near Strasburg? The musical with all the real animals?

    I saw it a few years ago. I didn’t expect much, and, man, was that impressive!

  2. Gravatar Icon 2 Becky

    Haven’t seen Noah. I’m very skeptical about these new religious theaters in Lancaster County. Also, I’m an agnostic who doesn’t like musicals!

    Real animals? Really?

  3. Gravatar Icon 3 Frank Warner

    I was sort of forced to see “Noah.” I can’t claim to be a church-going guy.

    But it was fun and approaching other-worldliness. Yes, real animals. Lots of real animals. You sort of feel like you’re on the ark.

    Sneak in sometime. It won’t brainwash you to recite Bible verses or run away with the Moonies. It’s down-to-earth, expert theatrics.

    And as I recall, the tickets aren’t cheap.

  4. Gravatar Icon 4 mac

    You know I appreciate your brilliant possessive apostrophe placement. *grin*

    And now I totally want some shoo fly pie.

  5. Gravatar Icon 5 Jen

    Off-topic, but does this blog make my butt look big is a fabulous domain name.

  6. Gravatar Icon 6 Tintil

    I recently saw ‘Joseph’ in London and the dancing was neither suggestive nor provocative. I wonder if it’s too late for me to demand a refund?

  7. Gravatar Icon 7 Sam

    I saw “Noah”. It was somewhere in Lancaster county. Yes there were real animals. But only the domesticated kinds (I suppose for obvious reasons that they didn’t want too many animals running amuck and leaving bad odors!). There were the dogs and cats, maybe a cow or two, deer even. Everything else were animals that were victims of taxidermy and were puppet controlled. They all moved in unison to all the singing and dancing…well mostly singing.

    There was nothing provocative in Noah. Well I fell asleep in some point in the singalong, so I may have missed something

  8. Gravatar Icon 8 Dana (the crack REFORMED whore)

    hmmmm–this is unfortunate about the dislike of musicals.

    I guess this means the Andrew Lloyd Weber Bible I bought you is going back to the store, along with the soundtrack to Jesus Christ Superstar.

    So much for being creative. I’ll just ship my usual bong.

  9. Gravatar Icon 9 Becky

    The plot thickens! It turns out that Lancaster County’s controversial Cats and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat productions were choreographed by the same person! A Mr. Marc Robin, who is obviously out to poison the minds of our children.

    Tintil, if you want to see provocative theatre, get out of the West End and come to Lancaster County.

  10. Gravatar Icon 10 Dana (the crack REFORMED whore)

    ALL DANCING IS EEEEEEEEE-VIL (Thumps Bible)
    I bet you could see those women’s wrists and ankles and such!!!
    BURKAS FOR EVERYONE~

  11. Gravatar Icon 11 DannyBoy

    Off topic: I think that you need to add “Constipated” to our list of choices to your mood picture.

  12. Gravatar Icon 12 DannyBoy (the crack whore reformer)

    PS - Send me your crack whores.

  13. Gravatar Icon 13 Jo

    So, does Jesus wear boxers or briefs? Or does he go commando?

  14. Gravatar Icon 14 Becky

    Good question, Jo. I wasn’t there, but I heard he was commando!