Philadelphia election scandal: the one with the pierogies
Published by Becky S October 26th, 2004 in newsy, philadelphia, favorite
If you live in the thirteenth division of Philadelphia’s fifteenth ward, this is your humble polling place. It will be the usual drill—no muss, no fuss, no hanging chads or busted kneecaps.
A few short blocks away, however, citizens in the seventeenth division will vote at the Russian Orthodox Church. A reliable source informs me that the Russians—in an effort to raise their neighborhood profile—will be handing out pierogies to all voters. In fairness, the giveaway is non-partisan: Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians, and pinko Communists alike will receive this delicious treat.
However, Good Grief! is going on record to protest these meddling Russians. We’ve already sent a clear message to the weenie-spined Limeys about butting out of our elections, so what makes the Russians think they can waltz in with their pierogies and turn out the vote? Not to mention that pierogie bribery increases the risk of illegal multiple voting and other election fraud.
To prevent any ambiguity in next Tuesday’s election results (do we really want the Supreme Court to get involved?), it is the duty of all non-seventeenth division citizens to go to the Russian Orthodox Church next Tuesday and claim a pierogie. By keeping the pierogies for ourselves, we can ensure that the seventeenth division will proceed with a fair election. Please spread the word by forwarding this link to everyone you know.
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You are right to fear the Russian pierogies. Everyone - everyone! - knows that the Russians have an inate talent and unfailingly produce perfect dough. And as you are well aware, a successful pierogi depends on the quality of the dough around the filling. (Do you think they will have the saurkraut ones?)
Don’t know if they’ll have sauerkraut pierogies, Suzette, but I should add that kielbasa and that cabbage-potato are part of the deal, too.
sorry– make that “cabbage-potato roll.”
And the address is … ?
560 North 20th Street
PHILADELPHIA PA 19130
(215) 568-6788
By the way, as Yoko suggests on the SpongeBob thread, I’m totally in favor of a little gerrymandering to ensure that I’m in on the pieorgie deal in ‘08.
Oh how I miss pierogies and kielbasa. We don’t have that kind of food in Dallas. Everything is about fusion quisine. I am really bummed out now. Dratz!
Hang, on Kytari–help is on the way. The next big thing after fusion cuisine is comfort food. We now have trendy restaurants where you wait in long lines for mashed potatoes and pierogie-like items.
This trend should hit Texas soon!
>> The next big thing after fusion cuisine is comfort food. We now have trendy restaurants where you wait in long lines for mashed potatoes and pierogie-like items.
Yeah, we call it Soul Food down here. You can pay $$$$ for Fried Chicken, Collard Greens, Mashed Potatoes and Cornbread.
Well I never thought I’d read the words pierogies and election scandal in the same paragraph.
Now why can’t they do that in Pittsburgh.
Harumph..just another reason why Pittsburgh’s gone to the dogs..we can’t even get pierogies to vote
heck of a lot better than clean underwear and ramen. We votes in CT had donuts but we had to pay for them (school fundraiser)Actually I was selling those suckers and the scent is still on me. I’m a giant Krispie Kreme.
There isn’t any place in San Diego that one can get authentic POLISH pierogies, So I am seriously thinking of starting my own pierogie business! Anyone want to be in this venture? Email me.