Good Grief!

This question is purely hypothetical, of course.

Say you’ve been dating someone for several months and are now comfortable enough in the relationship to share some of your secret fantasies.  For example, your desire to take accordion lessons and join a Klezmer band.

And it turns out that said person finds an unused accordion in his […]

I met Mike (not his real name) in front of the main branch of the Philadelphia Free Library, where he was sitting with his shopping cart full of other peoples’ trash.
"Hey," he said, as I walked by, weighed down by shopping bags, "I’m a very rich man."  That was the first story Mike ever told […]

The South does not suck.  I went to school below the Mason-Dixon line, and some of my band saxophone buddies from that era ended up in places like Mississippi and Alabama (the horror!) and are quite happy.  And my cousin lives in Texas.  Okay, he’s a vegetarian hippie yoga instructor in Austin, but that still […]

My first trip to the big-ass bulk store:
Superwoman:  Look!  I found my favorite jeans.
Becky:  They sell jeans here?
[ring!]Superwoman:  Hello? Sassy J [on phone]: I’m in aisle four.  Where are you? Superwoman:  We’re in produce.
Becky:  They don’t have sweet potatoes.  Only yams.  Can we put yams in the pie?
Becky:   Wow, I could use some black […]

In the United States, this is the week where we give thanks. Without further ado, allow me to express my gratitude to the states of New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, and West Virginia.
Except for an unfortunate six-month stint in Grand Rapids, Michigan, I’ve always lived near one or more state lines:

When my grandparents used to visit […]

The Market Report is a weekly column written by Ken Klein of Klein’s Supermarket in Philadelphia’s Fairmount neighborhood.  He writes the column for the Art Museum Area News and kindly allows me to post it here. 
The report is a fascinating look at the forces that drive the quality and price of our food; if […]

I am happy to report that the Philadelphia City Paper printed my I Love You, I Hate You rant.    In fact, this week’s edition contains several similarly-themed entries.
There was also a great piece* by Agnelina Sciolla about people who "increasingly regard their politics like religion–something that suggests a certain moral superiority and which […]

Have you heard?  Beer and cheese is the new wine and cheese.  You probably have heard, since I’m usually a latecomer to culinary trends.

Anyway, next month I’m throwing a pre-holiday beer and cheese party, and I recruited my friend Clair—beer judge and brewer extraordinaire—to help with the pairings.  First requirement for such an undertaking?  Research!
Tria […]

I admit that I’m one of those annoying people who rails against the use of cell phones.  But now I have solid evidence–hot off the soulless office park fax machine–that these devices are harmful.  Thanks to IT security dude for finding this warning and bringing it to my attention:
SAFETY ALERT!  We’ve seen it before.  […]

Boss-across and I recently had a very disturbing conversation:
Boss-across-the-hall: Tell me again about the secret table that’s missing from our database diagram?
Becky: What secret table?
BATH: The one you told me about earlier.
Becky: You didn’t find it yet? I said that so you’d get out of my office. I’m busy […]