Bulk consumer whore
Published by Becky S November 23rd, 2004 in miscellaneous fluffMy first trip to the big-ass bulk store:
Superwoman: Look! I found my favorite jeans.
Becky: They sell jeans here?
[ring!]
Superwoman: Hello?
Sassy J [on phone]: I’m in aisle four. Where are you?
Superwoman: We’re in produce.
Becky: They don’t have sweet potatoes. Only yams. Can we put yams in the pie?Becky: Wow, I could use some black beans. Too bad you can only buy these cans in twelve packs.
Superwoman: They’re cheap—you should get them. Don’t worry, they won’t go bad.
Becky: And where exactly will I put twelve cans of black beans?
Superwoman: Under the bed.
[ring!]
Superwoman: Hello?
Sassy J [on phone]: Where are you now?
Superwoman: We’re in the Goya aisle.
Is this normal? Do people really buy cans in bulk and store them under the bed? Can I eat two pounds of feta crumbles before they get moldy? How much extra gas do we burn by hauling around a twenty-five pound bag of sugar and a hundred rolls of toilet paper, anyway?
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Heheh. About 10 years ago I went to a Sam’s Club with some neighbors who had 4 kids. I got a little queasy when they each grabbed shopping carts that combined appeared to have the same square footage as my living room. They then proceeded to “shop”.
I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard “Honey you got that end?” as they loaded up.
Shit, I was a Teamster when I was 17. Those people were scary.
Superwoman found her favorite jeans in produce?
Clair, stop trying to debunk my stories.
That’s the short version. I was in produce by myself, standing there with a huge cart and looking befuddled while Superwoman was off making a return.
When she caught up with me (by the cheese), she had the jeans. Calvin Klein boot cut.
Wait a minute. There’s a difference between yams and sweet potatoes? I always thought it was the same product with multiple brandings.
If the YAMS god himself doesn’t know the answer to this question, then I sure don’t.
I found this handy comparison chart. It’s a bit academic, though, and doesn’t address real-life questions like what happens when you make a yam pie.
Actually, looking at that chart again, yam pie sounds like a bad idea.
Yams - starchy, Sweet Potato - sweet
Yams - dry, Sweet Potato - moist
Luckily we did not resort to the yams for our Thanksgiving pie endeavors.
I always thought Yams and Sweet Potatoes were the same. Thank you Good Grief! for edjumacating me.
I get the super store consumer whore award for spending the most on this adventure (which required Superwoman’s club card to get in). I confess to calling Superwoman multiple times (she is very indulgent). My burning mega-store questions included: “I’m in the baking aisle and they only sell condensed milk in 8 packs–do you want to split it?” Or, “I can’t find the minor’s broth anywhere–nor Karyo syrup–so if you see some, get me a vat.” And, now I wish I had bought the same jeans! I feel another trip coming on.
“How much extra gas do we burn by hauling around a twenty-five pound bag of sugar and a hundred rolls of toilet paper, anyway?”
It depends on whether you drive your SUV or your Hummer there.