Ethical dilemma re: accordions
Published by Becky S November 30th, 2004 in miscellaneous fluff
This question is purely hypothetical, of course.
Say you’ve been dating someone for several months and are now comfortable enough in the relationship to share some of your secret fantasies. For example, your desire to take accordion lessons and join a Klezmer band.
And it turns out that said person finds an unused accordion in his parents’ attic and gives it to you. When the relationship ends, are you obligated to return the accordion?
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No. It was a gift and a very cool one at that (if you like accordians and all).
Did you take lessons? Are you in a Klesmer band? If not be gracious and return what has become a piece of useless junk, or be a dick and hock it for enough cheap booze to obliterate your consciousness for a couple of weeks.
One isn’t obligated to return the accordion, but it would nice to ask the person if he/she wants the item back.
Unless said person specifically asks for the accordion back, no.
I have dreams of playing klezmer music myself– but not on accordion.
It really is a hypothetical question. I did not take lessons and am not in a Klezmer band
I do not own an accordion, nor has anyone ever given me one.
I was just wondering what the appropriate protocol would be in such a situation.
However, if anyone happens to have a spare accordion, donations are always appreciated.
Yoko, I assume you’d want to play the clarinet? If I get an accordion, maybe we can start up the Fairmount Klezmer band.
Aw yeah, I’d be down with that. If you’re serious about procuring an accordion, I may know someone who could point you in the right direction.
Yup, the clarinet. I don’t know the first thing about playing klezmer, but I’d love to learn.
I bought a flute for my daughter who immediately quit playing the flute in favor of the piano (which we already owned). So I am thinking of either selling the flute on EBay or taking flute lessons.
You and Viggo broke up? If you two crazy kids can’t make it, what hope do the rest of us have?
I say keep the accordian. A gift is a gift - even if it is an accordian.
Whoever said that you should ask is right. Hey, could be a family heirloom, and since you presumably won’t be contributing to the next generation in a long line of accordion players, perhaps they want it back to try out the next potential daughter-in-law. Just a theory.
Me, I’m curious about the “several months” part. Must be a pretty well-guarded fantasy, since I assume (or maybe just hope) that a number of other secret fantasies might have been aired before then.
PS Why does the word “accordion” look wrong with both -ion AND -ian? Weird.
Becky? Have you been taking your medicine?
NO! And when they ask, your reply is “What accordion??”
Huh.
Tom–I’d invite you to join the Klezmer band, but I don’t think Klezmer bands have flutes.
Glenn–Viggo and I are just fine, thank you very much.
Frankly, I think that families need to take responsibility for preserving their heirloom accordions (-ion is the spelling preferred by the Word spell checker). Sorry for sounding old-fashioned, but family heirlooms shouldn’t be handed down until the deal is sealed.
Medicine, schmedicine.
accordion to miss manners’ rules of breakup etiquette, you should not only keep it, you should serenade all of the ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriends with it from beneath said ex’s bedroom window. reguardless of whether or not you ever took lessons.
it’s a middle-earth custom written in blood.
My question is, if someone gives you an accordion, how do you allow the relationship to end? Has keeper written all over it to me.
You have to return the accordion only if the boyfriend’s surname is Scandalli or a derivative of the same. Then have a look at mine (also in an attic in Pennsylvania):
http://www.scandalli.com/
It all depends if they have anything of yours which you may want back (a rare book, a limited edition print, a dubious polaroid…) in which case the accordian should definitely be retained as a bargaining tool.
If not, keep it anyway, particularly if they ended the relationship.
Nice clip-art, by the way!
If we could only go back to the innocent days of dubious Polaroids. What with digital photography and the wonders of Photoshop, I shudder to think at what a malicious ex could do. Even an accordion wouldn’t be a guarateed bargaining chip.
And maybe it’s petty of me, but I agree with Tintil–keeping stuff somewhat depends on the circumstances of the breakup.
only if naked dancing was involved with said accordian must it be returned
and please–who would break up with a girl in a Klezmer band who loves beer and cheese??
Yes, the reason for the breakup should determine whether the accordion should be returned. For example, if he whispers into her ear that he loves her and she starts laughing uncontrollably and shouting about what a moron he is and how could he ever think that she might even for a second care about him, then I think she should give the accordion back.
*Please note that no matter what you may have heard I am not speaking from personal experience! Really!!!
“when” the relationship ends? Self-fulfilling prophecy hard at work here..
might as well just give the accordion back now and get it over with.. no sense prolonging the inevitable..
I confess, it’s all true. As a result of a self-fulfilling prophecy, I was in a destructive relationship with a naked-accordion-dancing, dubious-polaroid-taking musical heir.
Sheesh, we all have lapses in judgement!