Good Grief! license plate contest

plate for ghetto car II

Pennsylvania drivers are not required to put license plates on the front of their cars; this freedom is just one advantage of living in the Keystone State.

A Maryland-based friend of mine insists that the “no front license plate” loophole allows Pennsylvania drivers to run people over, drive away in reverse, and escape the scene undetected, but that’s crazy talk.

Though I’ll be visiting the ghetto car one last time before it goes to the scrap yard and will have an opportunity to retrieve the smiley-face plate, I think it’s time for a change. So without further ado, I’d like to announce the Good Grief! license plate contest.

Your suggestions are needed! What should decorate the front of the new car? Guidelines:

  • One idea is a faux Pennsylvania tag
  • A religious or political license plate will never grace the front of my automobile.
  • I don’t have any grandkids, so none of that “ask me about my grandchildren” stuff.
  • For the love of God, do not suggest an airbrushed license plate.

What’s the prize? One pound of Wilbur Buds–your choice of semi-sweet or milk chocolate*. Also, if you live in the tri-state area, you get the excitement of possibly seeing your suggestion in person.

* I recommend the semi-sweet. Sorry, I can only send Wilbur Buds to residents of the US.


33 Responses to “Good Grief! license plate contest”  

  1. Gravatar Icon 1 Shaun G

    I think you should get a faux PA license plate that exactly matches your real PA license plate. It’s sort of that hyper-ironic “I know I have the freedom to choose my front-of-car style, and that very freedom allows me to choose the style that my Maryland comrads have no choice but to adopt, thus showing solidarity while simultaneously sticking it to The Man … by the act of not sticking it to The Man.” Or, y’know, if that’s not your digs, you could always go bald.

  2. Gravatar Icon 2 jt

    How about this?

  3. Gravatar Icon 3 Ohio Guy

    Using your friends logic…..I think you should use a replica of the Maryland plate. In case of a “hit and back up and run” they will be looking for a Maryland car.

  4. Gravatar Icon 4 Clair

    “My other car is now a tin can”

  5. Gravatar Icon 5 Jen

    You should get a German tourist license plate. Authentic looking!

  6. Gravatar Icon 6 Tom

    A bit off-topic, but what exactly is the “tri-state area”? Around NYC, it is NY, NJ, and CT. Around Philadelphia, is it PA, NJ, and MD? Why not a quad-state area and add DE?

  7. Gravatar Icon 7 Theresa

    I can’t believe you nixed religious stuff. I was going to suggest a tiny bathtub mary, encircled in christmas lights.

    Oh wait. I have one. How ’bout “blogbutt” spelled out in laminated fruit loops?

  8. Gravatar Icon 8 Tintil

    I was going to suggest: “My other plate is funny”.
    But seeing as I’m not eligible for the Wilbur Buds, I don’t think I’ll bother.

  9. Gravatar Icon 9 mac

    I can’t believe no one has suggested a huge pair of antlers or horns or something. Nothing says ‘I live in Philly and I will gore you if you take the parking space I spent 30 minutes digging snow out of’ like a big ass pair of horns or antlers.

  10. Gravatar Icon 10 Kytari

    “Don’t Mess with Texas” comes to mind. It is our anti-litter campaign for the Texas Highways but for a northerner it could imply other things.

  11. Gravatar Icon 11 Viggo Mortensen

    VIGGOSGRL

  12. Gravatar Icon 12 Jason

    How about

    “How may licks does it take to get to your bloody center? The world may never know…”

    As you’re driving away backwards that would be quite a puzzle to die thinking of. The one thing you want to avioid is carrying the “how many…” thing to far. You don’t want to drive away backwards with the plate AND be seen in this teen-ho shirt. I think that would carry the game a little too far. The other (and my favorite) is to get a real-looking one, but cover it with dried blood and hair and get evasive when anyone asks about it.

  13. Gravatar Icon 13 IT Security Dude

    I say you get one of those ghetto chains for three reasons:
    1) In memoriam of ghetto car 1
    2) Some people will wonder what you are protecting.
    3) Other people will wonder what sort of magicks the crafty rascals used to steal the license plate without disturbing the ghetto chain protector thereof.

  14. Gravatar Icon 14 Dave

    Those plates with Calvin and Hobbes’s Calvin peeing on things seem awfully popular… and awful.

    Here’s an out-of-the-box idea: put one of those Lego green pads in the license plate holder and build a new license plate out of Legos. Maybe use that clever “bITch” word or something like that.

  15. Gravatar Icon 15 Splurge

    I know…
    ‘UR BLOG SUCKS’.

  16. Gravatar Icon 16 yoko

    I’m fresh out of ideas at the moment. Sorry.

    Tom– “tri-state area” in this neck of the woods is PA, NJ, DE. Maryland doesn’t figure in this geographical conglomeration.

  17. Gravatar Icon 17 Sam

    The English German Dictionary tells me that ghetto-blaster is der Radiorecorder and der große Kassettenrecorder. I don’t know if you can get a beta symbol on a plate though….

  18. Gravatar Icon 18 Sassy J

    “Goodbye Kitty”

  19. Gravatar Icon 19 Debra Hamel

    Car decoration? Think Battle of Salamis. The Greeks didn’t win one for democracy by putting smiley faces on the front of their triremes. They sent those pansy Persians to the bottom of the sea with battering rams, baby (http://www.northpark.edu/history/Classes/Sources/GreekWarfare.html)! Surely your automobile deserves nothing less.

    (Note my new

  20. Gravatar Icon 20 Scott

    I want to be part of the contest, but the well has run dry.

    Umm… how about ‘Heeerrrrrreeeeee’s Becky!’

    I’ve got nothing.

  21. Gravatar Icon 21 Lenny

    Obviously “Good Grief” should be considered.

  22. Gravatar Icon 22 Lenny

    or “bendy.straw”
    or “luddite” and attach it with string.
    or “pseudo-lib”

  23. Gravatar Icon 23 Sassy J

    “LHOOQ”

    This ties together many of your blog entries–ass, hotness, your shout out to the international world. Marcel Duchamp drew a mustache and goatee on Leonardo’s Mona Lisa, and wrote LHOOQ underneath. If you pronounce the letters in French, you get “Elle a chaud au cul,” which translates colloquially as “She is hot in the ass.”

  24. Gravatar Icon 24 yoko

    Sassy J, you rock.

  25. Gravatar Icon 25 dana

    if you promise not to crash the new wheels i will send you the tranny nip and you can hot glue that sucker right on there.

  26. Gravatar Icon 26 dana

    in case you don’t remember the charm of the tranny nip—
    http://think_pink.typepad.com/think_pink/2004/07/tranny_nip.html

  27. Gravatar Icon 27 Moon Pappy

    Let’s not forget our roots! How about:
    “This Bud “(Wilbur)” is for U”
    A picture of Chocolate Covered Pretzel
    A “Becky Bumper” sticker (private joke)
    A “BBB” sticker (another private joke)
    (brain drained…more to follow

  28. Gravatar Icon 28 boss-across-the-hall
  29. Gravatar Icon 29 Sassy J

    BLOGRGRL

  30. Gravatar Icon 30 Sassy J

    :-)

  31. Gravatar Icon 31 jt

    KITTYKAR

  32. Gravatar Icon 32 kristen

    how about:

    Hot to trot

  33. Gravatar Icon 33 Sherri

    Only you can choose the proper front license plate for your personality. I put a BoSox one on 2 years ago, and took much verbal abuse from college frat boys for it—till this past october that is, BWAH-hah-hah-haaaaaa…