Heathen pretzels: Beelzebub invades Philly street corners
Published by Becky S January 23rd, 2005 in philadelphia, food, favorite
Did you know that pretzels, a popular American source of carbohydrates, are a sacred snack*?
- Monks used them to reward children who memorized Bible verses.
- The pretzel twist represents a child’s arms in prayer.
- The three holes represent the Christian trinity of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
What, then, are we to make of the “Philly pretzels” sold throughout our fine metropolis?
The heathen bakeries are squashing the Holy Trinity! They are crushing the praying children! How much longer can we sit idly by and let the forces of Satan corrupt this venerable goodie?
Be an active citizen; the next time you’re in Center City, drop by Rick Santorum’s local office and suggest that he introduce the Defense of Religious Snack Foods Act:
1 South Penn Square
Widener Builder, Suite 960
Philadelphia, PA 19107
Phone: 215-864-6900
Fax: 215-864-6910
favorite food Philadelphia politics santorum
perhaps i could stage a christmas light protest–let’s see, how does one form a bolt of lightening (representing judgement, of course) coming from the sky to strike the evil street vendor.
This is going to require lots of chicken wire and duct tape……….
If you could get Santorum to take a stand on this, I would.. I don’t know, you would be my hero.
Dana, the good news is that you have about 11 months to work out the logistics of the Christmas light display.
Jen, even though it’s doubtful that Santorum would take a stance, I’m amused by the idea of calling and e-mailing his staff and being a nuisance. Maybe I should work up a form letter that people can print and mail to him. And maybe Urban Outfitters would sell some t-shirts in support of the cause.
I guess that’s not really being a constructive citizen.
Forget heathen pretzels… I have a far more serious sin to admit… I read other blogs! And one of them happened to mention a new pizza place in Philadelphia. Perhaps you can check it out and solve the mystery of #12. And stay away from those satanic pretzels!!!
Brilliant entry Becky. Hey blog readers–what do you think the two holes on the Phila twist represent? The watching eyes of God (or would that be Satan)?
Just stopping by to say hello. Yesterday, I asked a few of my readers to suggest a blog that they think should be the site of the day and deserves to be discovered simply because it is wonderful. Kristen suggested your site and I can certainly see why.
Actually, i have been to your blog before. Loved it the first time. Still think it is great!!
I think I see a small hole in the middle of your example pretzels there thus squashing your attempts to undermine another Philly tradition.
Clair there is no hole. That is Beezelbub choking the wind out of the Holy Spirit.
It looks like as much of a hole as the third one on the top picture.