I break stuff.

Hairdryer

Our suite in the soulless office park has a hallway that connects the front and back parts of the building. At one end of the hall sits a mysterious, 1985-ish computer terminal with orange letters on a black, eighty-character-by-twenty-four-line screen. The screen is always on, flashing cryptic messages and symbols.

So I was running through the hallway, frustrated by a high-tech copier and late for a meeting, when my right leg hit the terminal. Hard.

“Hmm,” thinks me. “Is this computer important? Someone told me why it’s always on. Why was that again? Eh, whatever. I’m late.”

Shortly thereafter, my co-workers began complaining that they could no longer make outgoing phone calls. Then I remembered—the hallway computer controls soulless office park telecommunications.

Soon after this incident, I blew up a database. And then this morning my hairdryer exploded in a shower of blue sparks.

To minimize the impact of this destructive phase and to make sure no one sees my horrible, naturally-dried hair, I plan to keep a low profile for the next few days. This means no blogging, lest I crash the Internet.


14 Responses to “I break stuff.”  

  1. Gravatar Icon 1 Jen

    Step away from the internet.

  2. Gravatar Icon 2 dragonballyee

    oh man, if you crash the interweb al gore may be coming for you. he invented it, you know.

  3. Gravatar Icon 3 Glenn

    Actually, if you did break the internet for a while - it may help with my internet addiction.

    Just break it a little if possible though, no longer than 24 hours or I would probably explode.

  4. Gravatar Icon 4 Theresa

    it.was.you.who.broke.my.radio.stream.argh.

  5. Gravatar Icon 5 Scott

    An internet without Good Grief! would be broken indeed.

    Though, if the web were broken (and some technologists think it already is, any comment, Becky?) I am sure lots of people would suddenly become slightly more productive.

  6. Gravatar Icon 6 jo

    Oh now you’ve done it! You’ve revealed the location of the super secret terminal of doom! It’s in the hallway where you work! RUN!

  7. Gravatar Icon 7 Barbara W. Klaser

    Careful, it appears you could be headed for a peak performance of complete Internet deletion. ;)

  8. Gravatar Icon 8 philip

    Becky did you read the instructions on that hair dryer? DO NOT USE THIS DEVICE IN THE SHOWER!! As Bill Engvall would say, “here’s your sign”.

  9. Gravatar Icon 9 Dave

    Who would put the computer that runs an entire phone system *in a hallway*??? That’s like something out of a bad hacker movie.

  10. Gravatar Icon 10 Emily

    Dave, Well its safer there than in my “office”. I cant tell you how many times i’ve kicked the power cord out of the *bleeping* cube wall. The more important question is .. Why dont they just make machines that stay on when you kick them?!

  11. Gravatar Icon 11 Sassy J

    Becky–are you just trying to sabotage your work place so that you can take up with the sheep?

  12. Gravatar Icon 12 Moon Pappy

    Say, does that mean every work place has a dumb terminal that controls the phones?…let me at it. Without the phone life would be much more productive and better….unless you are using a phone internet connection. But then again what about those little flip up things people place one side on their ear and talk in the other…Are they PC driven also? If so is the PC in their rear pocket?

  13. Gravatar Icon 13 Glenn

    Hey Becky, come back! I may not comment a whole lot, but I enjoy reading your updates!

  14. Gravatar Icon 14 Becky

    Glenn, I am going to cancel the whole site because you don’t comment enough!

    Kidding…thanks for the kind words. Thanks also to Scott.

    Moon Pappy, just because I haven’t updated Good Grief! in six days is no reason for you to call and question me. I’m a grown woman, you know!