I just ate the last kosher, low-cal, low-carb vanilla Passover meringue. There’s really nothing else to write, so I’ll leave you with some eye candy.

Eye candy #1 is a picture of Pat Burrell’s butt. Clair*, don’t say anything—I took this shot before the choir started singing The Star-Spangled Banner, so there’s nothing unpatriotic going on.

The Dessert

Eye candy #2 is The Dessert, last week’s main culinary accomplishment.

Pat Burrel's butt

The Dessert has many layers:

  • A crust made of homemade chocolate chip cookie crumbs
  • A coating of dark chocolate espresso fudge sauce
  • One pint of Ben and Jerry’s vanilla ice cream
  • One pint of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate therapy ice cream
  • Another pint of Ben and Jerry’s vanilla ice cream
  • More cookie crumbs
  • More dark chocolate espresso fudge sauce.

Prolonged exposure to The Dessert will make your butt look big.

*Clair’s season tickets provide an excellent view of Pat Burrell.


41 Responses to “Pat Burrell’s butt looks just fine”  

  1. Gravatar Icon 1 yoko

    I have to stop drooling all over my keyboard.
    (It’s because of the dessert, not Pat Burrell’s butt.)

  2. Gravatar Icon 2 Jen

    God how sad is it that I’d choose the dessert over a guy’s ass.

  3. Gravatar Icon 3 Becky

    Wow. I hope that’s just end-of-law-school stress speaking.

  4. Gravatar Icon 4 Melissa

    Thank you for two very yummy pictures. Ah.

  5. Gravatar Icon 5 Paul

    Ugh. I sooo had to fire Pat Burrell like two weeks ago. Who knew he’d be the two week wonder and then cool off while your whole team slides into the basement? Good luck with that.

  6. Gravatar Icon 6 Becky

    Oooh, Paul, so negative! Are you from Philly or something? Burrell must have been uplifted by this entry, which inspired his home run last night.

  7. Gravatar Icon 7 Jen

    I think I was hungry when I wrote that. I am back to normal now, bring on the butts!

  8. Gravatar Icon 8 Scott

    Eh, neither one do anything for me.

  9. Gravatar Icon 9 Clair

    I am sorry but this post is totally unacceptable. As a society, we need to show greater respect towards others and not reduce them to an object which is there soley for our visual pleasure.

    Unless of course we are at a Hooters or talking about cheerleaders.

  10. Gravatar Icon 10 Becky

    Whew. Jen, I was worried there for a minute.

    Scott, I am slightly miffed that you are not showing proper respect for The Dessert. I thought you liked ice cream?

    Clair, how does this post being unacceptable make it different from any other post?

  11. Gravatar Icon 11 Raul

    I think that my butt is better than both of the above choices.

  12. Gravatar Icon 12 Scott

    I love ice cream however:

    1. I’m not a huge fan of chocolate
    2. I dislike dark chocolate flat out
    3. I don’t like espresso or espresso flavored items
    4. Chocolate therapy seems WAY too chocolaty for me

    Other than that, the dessert looks better good. ;)

    Hey, I’m a boring vanilla kinda guy.

  13. Gravatar Icon 13 Jen

    In the near future, I’ll do a post about guys asses just to show how I have recovered.

  14. Gravatar Icon 14 Sassy J

    That’s a mighty fine _ _ _. Plus, he’s 6′4″! Becky, I’m so glad you’ve found another Philly’s player to objectify (and give all of us that opportunity) since the other guy with the nice smile from Penn left the team (don’t you like how I can’t remember his name?). The decadent dessert looks good too–but definitely comes in second.

  15. Gravatar Icon 15 Scott

    I’m 6′4″.

    Just saying.

  16. Gravatar Icon 16 Erin

    Must use my bragging rights while I have the opp… after the Braves/Phillies 10 inning game on April 17, I had the very drunken pleasure of Pat Burrell signing my boob old-school style at the Irish Pub… too bad he had to get his girlfriend’s permission first. But, ladies, he is at the Irish Pub on 20th and Walnut fairly regularly, so stop on down for some first hand eye candy!

  17. Gravatar Icon 17 very metal

    Aaaarrrgh!! I keep stopping by and seeing Pat “Remember When I Was A .200 Hitter?” Burrell’s butt, which I don’t like, and then the delicious-looking dessert, which I do, and now I’m starting to get the two confused.

    Help! Post something that’s not men’s asses! Which I don’t like! Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

    Special to Erin: if that’s Burrell’s girlfriend in the picture, I wouldn’t worry about her too much. If you’re older than 12, you can deal with her, permission be damned.

  18. Gravatar Icon 18 Becky

    Sassy J, Doug Glanville (the aforementioned former Phillie and Penn guy with a nice smile) was more than just an object to me, and I am still looking for a replacement favorite Phillie. Pat Burrell’s ass is merely a temporary distraction.

    And as you well know, I do not share your tall man enthusiasm. There’s nothing wrong with tall men; I just don’t find height to be an important factor in overall attraction. Material for another post, perhaps.

    Erin, I’m not sure what to say. Pat Burrell is not enough to entice me into the Irish Pub. I’m glad you got your boob signed, though!

    very metal, telling me to post something else pretty much guarantees that Burrell’s butt will be up for at least another few days. Sheesh, don’t you know anything about stubborn women?

  19. Gravatar Icon 19 very metal

    Looks like I’m learning. Sheesh.

  20. Gravatar Icon 20 Clair

    So what would be the best writing instrument to sign a boob? I mean, just in case the need ever arises…

  21. Gravatar Icon 21 Becky

    A compromise! Now Pat Burrell’s butt is not the first thing you’ll see. Bonus: in a few weeks when people Google Burrell’s ass and end up here, they will be really confused.

    Clair, my advice is to carry a Sharpie at all times.

  22. Gravatar Icon 22 Clair

    I have another question. Did you take a picture of my butt at the game?

  23. Gravatar Icon 23 Becky

    You’ll never know unless I decide to post it. I’m sure everyone’s dying to see a butt shot of Clair, resident Good Grief hottie.

  24. Gravatar Icon 24 Becky

    And no, you cannot autograph my boob.

  25. Gravatar Icon 25 Scott

    Hmm, now considering what tight control you like to wield over photos which include you, Becky, do you think it is fair to snap photos of anyone’s butt without first asking permission?

  26. Gravatar Icon 26 Becky

    Yes.

  27. Gravatar Icon 27 very metal

    If Burrell didn’t want weird butt fetish sites about him sprouting up all over the internet, he shoulda stayed out of baseball. He knew the risks.

  28. Gravatar Icon 28 Sherri W.

    Now, I know the switch in the photographic lineup was made in response to earlier complaints, but I have to say I’m rather disturbed to see Pat Burrell’s butt where a yummy dessert oughta be.

    And nothing (not even the starting lineup of my BoSox, okay well, maybe THAT) would get me to the Irish Pub on 20th and walnut. Years ago, I saw a guy flat-out clock his girlfriend outside the front door of the place, and the bouncer/ID-checking-employee didn’t do a thing in repsonse.

    Totally off topic: anyone going to Headlong for First Friday tomorrow?

  29. Gravatar Icon 29 Sassy J

    Scott, if your butt could rival Burrell’s, you’d be one hot item–for eye candy that is. All the other non-objectifying qualities are also important, but you can’t demonstrate them in a photo.

  30. Gravatar Icon 30 Becky

    Sherri, the monthly Headlong freebie never seems to fit into the schedule. I’d like to make a point of getting down there in June, which is always one of the best First Friday months. Enjoy if you go!

    There are some good ideas in this thread. Sassy, what if someone invented a camera that captures peoples’ non-physical qualities. Whoah.

    Also, I may consider turning Good Grief! into a weird fetish site. I just have to decide on a fetish.

    Finally, the recipient of The Dessert has expressed some distress at the correlation between his pie and Burrell’s butt. Well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

  31. Gravatar Icon 31 Scott

    Thanks, Sassy J. Though sadly I don’t think I have a Burrell level butt, however, I have a great personality.

  32. Gravatar Icon 32 Sherri

    Wait. This ISN’T the fetish site for Hello Kitty, Max Raabe, and the Palaster-Orchestra?

    Shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque…

  33. Gravatar Icon 33 Pat Burrell

    Just did a Google ego search and found this site. Erin, when can I have the pleasure of signing your boob again?

    So Clair has season tickets near my butt (one of the hottest in the majors, by the way)? And Clair is hot? How old is she?

  34. Gravatar Icon 34 Sassy J

    Becky if we could invent that camera it might really save millions (billions if we can do a Chinese version) from going through bad dates and relationships!

    I noticed Pat Burrell did not use the disclaimer that his girlfriend had OKed his post.

  35. Gravatar Icon 35 very metal

    Some of the terminology has been puzzling me a bit. OK, I haven’t signed that many women’s, uh, whatevers, but does one techincally sign “a boob” or “a bosom”? There are just a lot of references to “a boob” being signed and the logistics aren’t quite making sense.

    –Puzzled in Texas

  36. Gravatar Icon 36 Liz

    There is NOTHING more delicious than Pat Burrell’s bum… oh baby… I have season tix in LF at Citizen’s Bank Park just so I can look at his ass the whole time. I’ll take his piece of ass over that other slice anytime….. no calories. YUMMY!

  37. Gravatar Icon 37 Clair

    And here I thought people sat in LF to see MY ass. How humbling…

  38. Gravatar Icon 38 Jessika

    Oh, they are delicious!

  39. Gravatar Icon 39 I MET PAT BURRELL

    I MET PAT BURRELL AND I SAID TO HIM YOU R HOT AND HE SAID TO ME YOUR HOT TOO

  40. Gravatar Icon 40 gia fab

    PAT BURRELL IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SEXY I WOOD LOVE TO MEET HIM I DONT NO WHAT I WOOD DO WELL I LOVE HIM

  41. Gravatar Icon 41 hellcat

    I’m sorry to inform you all that Pat Burrell’s ass lies in piss most nights due to a slight enuresis problem. I’m not a fan of chocolate myself, but at least the dessert is more sanitary.