Baywindow

If you’re a young, urban dweller looking to buy your first home, this whole housing bubble thing is completely fucking annoying. Thanks a lot, Alan Greenspan. Not being able to afford the yuppie neighborhood where you currently pay rent, realizing what a dumbass you are for not buying five years ago, and having no fixer-upper skills: all bad. Even worse are the parties where you and your young, urban, home-owner-aspiring friends congregate and bemoan the real estate situation, boring the contented renter crowd to death and fueling the smug smiles of those who got in while the gettin’ was good.

What the world needs now is a new real estate paradigm: South Philly seventies row home chic. It’s like shabby chic, only chicer. Think Adrienne’s house in Rocky. Hardwood floors and Viking kitchens are so yesterday. Those in the know are going for awnings, shag carpet, drop ceilings, and fake wood paneling in the master bedroom. And don’t forget to pick up an ironically cool Virgin Mary statuette to display in the front bay window.


10 Responses to “New real estate paradigm: South Philly chic”  

  1. Gravatar Icon 1 Tom G

    The thing that blows my mind is the taxes on houses, and how the rate can change just by crossing a street. The Missus and I just sold our place here in the Old Dominion, bought a place in Drexel Hill, and our taxes will be increasing astronomically. (Although, to be fair, I think we were able to afford the house because the taxes were so high, and therefore was priced accordingly).Good Luck!

  2. Gravatar Icon 2 very metal

    I’m not sure I understand — is this “housing bubble” thing like living in some kind of domed city, like in outer space and stuff?

    Nice work on announcing a new paradigm. A simple, yet tragically overlooked action strategy. Following your lead, I hereby announce the new “The San Francisco Giants Stop Playing Sub-.500 Ball And Start Winning All The Time” paradigm. Thomas Kuhn is smiling in heaven right now. Assuming he’s dead, that is.

  3. Gravatar Icon 3 Becky

    Hey, very metal, how ’bout expanding your new paradigm to include the Phillies?

  4. Gravatar Icon 4 very metal

    Done!

  5. Gravatar Icon 5 Theresa

    around here, we call that Baltimore Style.

    good luck with the house search. after one year of living here, I couldn’t afford to buy in this neighborhood anymore. and my taxes have been “recalculated” twice.

  6. Gravatar Icon 6 megan

    I totally second what Theresa said. My taxes have gone up twice in two years, and show no signs of stopping. And what services do I get from the city? Snow removal? Ha! Trash pick-up? Don’t get me started. It makes me angry, I tell you.

    But I did get a total steal on my place a couple of years ago, and for that I’m super-duper thankful.

  7. Gravatar Icon 7 mac

    A house is not a house in South Philly unless you have the asbestos popcorn ceiling with the sparkles in every room. And a black lacquer dog statue.

  8. Gravatar Icon 8 Sassy J

    Don’t forget you will also have to buy decorations for every holiday to outfit your front window–and figure out if your Virgin Mary shrine and the Easter Bunny can co-habitate or not.

  9. Gravatar Icon 9 Becky

    Ooh, I sense a new tradition–the annual South Philly Easter Bunny/Virgin Mary smackdown!

  10. Gravatar Icon 10 PLD

    Yep - and relegated to yet another year of renting.