A correlation between pastries and bad daters?
Published by Becky S June 5th, 2005 in wtf?, food
At Fatou and Fama on Friday night, over some of Clair’s hand-crafted, award-winning Belgian Tripel, I heard two disturbing tales of bizarre male behavior. Delicious pastry items play an important role in both stories, and I’m still trying to discover the connection.
A friend of Clair’s—let’s call him Howard—had been out with a woman several times, and things were going well, especially by his standards. On one fateful evening, however, Howard and his female companion were watching television when Howard decided to poke her in the stomach and cry out, “heehee.” You know, like the giggle that the Pillsbury doughboy makes when the disembodied finger torments him at the end of a commercial. To this day, Howard doesn’t understand why his doughgirl dumped him.
Type E followed up with a yarn about his friend Fred who slept with a woman, jumped out of her bed exclaiming, “time to make the donuts!,” and then left. He spent the next few weeks wondering why she wouldn’t call him.
beer characters clair food wade bloggs wtf?
There is a reason some men are single. Actually there are many reasons. Of course, there are men who would never be so clueless as to make offensive pastry refences. Inversely, they may be all about flattery–which unless sincere, will also get them nowhere. Oh–this is too heavy for Monday am. I am sleep deprived. And looking for a fab guy. Where is he?
To be fair, there are many reasons why some women are single too. Both genders are equally capable of dating sabotage, though the male stories seem especially outrageous.
The good news is that fab guys sometimes appear where and when you least expect them.
Was Fred actually going to make the donuts, or was he just feeding her a line? If he actually had to make the donuts, what’s the problem? I mean, it may not be brain surgery, but somebody’s gotta do it.
When I first heard the story, I thought that Fred was feeding this woman a line. However, Type E insists that Fred was genuinely surprised not to see her again.
I’m pretty sure that he did not actually have to make the donuts.
Sounds like Fred did himself a favor. “Time to make the donuts” is a phrase that’s funny in all but the most dire circumstances — e.g., while waiting in line at a funeral to view the deceased, or something like that.
I would guess that she though “ttmtd” was a weird euphemism, or she just plain didn’t get the joke. In either case, seems to me Fred’s better off without her. More time to, uh, “make the donuts” and whatnot.
True, you can’t underestimate the importance of a good sense of humor , but Fred sounds like an incredible clod. Sheesh, someone back me up here! Keep in mind that the incident in question happened after Fred’s first time with this woman.
Fred is an incredible clod. It is true.
I believe Fred was referencing an actual Dunkin (?) Doughnut commercial, the context of which I can’t recall–but someone definitely gets up early and utters the phrase. In which case–that is funny–but he should have saved that line for intimate encounter number 10 or higher, to make sure it was not misconstrued. Even better, he should have said that, then come back with doughnuts shortly thereafter.
Since this is my current computer wallpaper, the whole “heehee” thing has me a tad nervous:
http://www.drinkatwork.com/2005/05/what-have-i-done-what-have-i-done.html
And yeah, men have very special ways of sabotaging relationships. Been there, bought the t-shirt. Although never quite so… strangely.
D
I think that it depends on what type of doughnut that Fred was going to make. If it was a coconut cream then he is a clod. But if it was a bear claw….
One more comment…
Clair, don’t you think that it is too warm outside for a triple? I think a nice fruity Belgian, like Duvel , goes well with warmer weather.
A Belgian Tripel and Belgian Strong Golden Ale (which is what Duvel is) are very similar, both having significant fruit/spice/alcohol flavors. Strong Golden’s will be a bit drier and thinner in body. While I enjoy both, neither would be my first choice on a hot day. They do work reasonably well with spicy food however which is what we were having at the time.
hmmm…I never thought that they were similar but with a different color. I guess that I equate Duvel with summer is becaues the first time I had it was on a hot summer day sitting at an outdoor cafe in Belgian. I had a hard time standing up after that.
By the way, are you going to Studts?
My friends stopped drinking beer.
Becky, sorry for the change of topic.
Raul, you’re not really off topic, since the Pillsbury doughboy looks like a distant relative of the Oerbier guy. I’ll be in the Poconos this weekend and will miss the Stoudt’s festivities. Just as well, since this is what happened the last time.
Clair’s Tripel was very good, though it caused me to fall asleep during the post-dinner movie. Also, it wasn’t very hot on Friday.
By the way, Murph, that is one helluva creepy link.
I don’t think it was my beer that made you fall asleep. I think it was the fact that it was after 10pm.
You could be on to something, Clair, since I also fell asleep at the following evening’s Spoon show.
There are many, many examples.