Nature: it’s all about respecting the boundaries
Published by Becky S June 13th, 2005 in travels, food
Nature by itself is good, but certain amenities are sure to enhance your outdoor experience. For example, note the ceiling fan, rocking chairs, and hammock in the above photo. Not pictured are the three full bathrooms, modern kitchen with dishwasher, washer and dryer, and the second hammock.
Unfortunately, even the best accommodations can’t help you when you’re canoeing in the Delaware river and a storm rolls in. Should you ever find yourself in this position, follow these important safety tips:
- At the first sound of thunder, pull over to the shore and get your food stash out of the canoe.
- Make some sandwiches.
- Make the sandwiches quickly, before the rain starts.
- When it begins to rain, find the person who was smart enough to bring a poncho. Explain that at least four people can get into a single poncho and proceed to demonstrate.
- While huddled under the poncho, keep your sandwich dry at all times.
- Because you are in cramped quarters, stay alert for opportunities to sneak a bite of someone else’s sandwich.
Obviously, I have the water part of nature mastered. However, I’m still having difficulty with the animal part. Relationships are all about boundaries, wouldn’t you say? For example, it’s inappropriate for a bear to molest innocent hikers. Also, if you’re an ant, you should stay outside and not sneak into the lodge to eat peoples’ soy nuts. Last weekend I spent a lot of time crushing ants and at times became very engrossed in this task.
food nature poconos travelsME: Another ant on the counter!
Special K: [makes gurgling noise] I’m choking to death on this glass of water!
ME: DIE MOTHERFUCKER!!!!
ME: Did you say something, Special K?
Is that a ghost sitting on that wicker chair?
ACK! Your cabin was haunted! Perhaps those ants were from the underworld as well…
Actually, that’s Freedom Date. I hadn’t asked permission to use her image, so I made her blurry.
Ants are Satan’s spawn.
Becky–ants are Satan’s spawn? This reminds me of my all-girls Catholic high school religion teacher (Old Testament and New Testament freshman year). She freaked out when a bumble bee flew into the room, could not proceed until it was gone, and told us very earnestly that “bees are devils.” And my mom wonders why I am a lapsed catholic.
My mom and dad had me running all around Connecticut looking for a certain type of ant insecticide.
It had apparently been banned in NY and NJ but, according to one of the clerks at the store, “you can still find it in smaller hardware stores in CT”.
In the few places I did ask for it, I got strange looks and some form of “Are you serious? That stuff has been banned for a decade in the US”.
She had my brother then see if he could order it ‘through work’ from Canada or Mexico(by the way: he works for the phone company - why wouldn’t they deal with illegal insecticides?)
So um… yeah, after typing all that out, I realize this had very little with the original post.. oh well!
Ants are Evil and they make people do stange things! (there, that tied it in)
Hum..a little formic acid (from the ants) on your soy nuts may be a good thing, but too much can lead to metabolic acidosis.
But ain’t Ma Nature GRAND..lightening, rain, ants et al.
PS. Hope your camera survived…and at least you have one to use that is!
(suffering camera withdrawal symptoms)
Glenn, if you ever get your hands on some of that powerful ant stuff, pick up some extra for me.
Moon Pappy, I will definitely try to avoid coming down with metabolic acidosis, since I’m not sure if my health plan covers that.
I would recommend reading The Empire of the Ants by Bernard Werber to get a much nicer vision of ants, however it seems that the English traduction sucks.
A ghost ? Yes sometimes, and then I make pacts with fellow ant ghosts…