I’m back, and now I have a drill

As required by the laws of home ownership, I recently acquired a drill (thanks, Clair) and have been making holes in the basement. Now that I possess both a drill and a fifty pound Solid-State Osterizer Cyclomatic blender, I’m pretty much unstoppable, so don’t mess with me.

Did you hear that Verizon? Don’t mess with me. Also, did you hear the customer service recordings with the crazy sobbing lady yelling expletives at your automated customer service system? I’ve been very patient about three weeks with no Internet, but if my DSL doesn’t turn on soon, there will be DRASTIC MEASURES.

Because I have a drill and a big-ass blender. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!?


20 Responses to “I’m back, and now I have a drill”  

  1. Gravatar Icon 1 Gordon

    Ugg…Verizon. I had DSL with them up in the Philly burbs for about 3 years. It took them like 2 weeks to first install it when I moved in. Then lightning took out my phone line and they kept swearing it was fixed.

    Finally i Just got pissed off and picked up a Comcast kit…Mind you I got home from a business trip in NYC last night to find my cable out COMPLETELY and they said they could come out TUESDAY to fix it. Though I did get a two week credit…then I found out it was just the splitter outside that died :)

    Good luck with your internet…and the drill. Yay powertools!

  2. Gravatar Icon 2 Glenn

    Glad to have you back Becky!
    You’ve been missed & Good luck with the DSL!

  3. Gravatar Icon 3 Jen

    > CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!?

    No.

  4. Gravatar Icon 4 Anonymous

    Yeah, it’s always something.

    Thanks, Glenn! BTW, I am now sitting two cubicles over from your friend Scottycakes.

  5. Gravatar Icon 5 Becky

    Oops, that last comment was me. I’m out of practice….

  6. Gravatar Icon 6 Glenn

    Oh good!
    So I can sometimes ask you to smack him in the back of the head for me?
    It’s hard being a few states away sometimes.

  7. Gravatar Icon 7 Lee

    Sorry, your response was not recognized. Please press zero to return to the previous menu and try again.

    Verizon is experiencing an unusually high volume of calls at the moment and we are unable to take your call. Please try later.

    Brrrrr…

  8. Gravatar Icon 8 Suzette

    Glad to hear your new hobby has been keeping you busy.

    I think you can use that new drill for more than hole-making, however. Remember the scene in “Uncle Buck” where John Candy drilled through a locked doorknob and then stood in the doorway, backlit and menacing, while he pressed the trigger?

    I say give Verizon a little taste of Uncle Beck and whirr that drill for Customer Service a few times. Save the Cyclomatic for the follow-up call.

  9. Gravatar Icon 9 Tom G

    What kind of drinks does that industrial blender make?

  10. Gravatar Icon 10 Clair

    My DSL only took 10 min. to set up. Maybe you are doing something wrong. Or maybe I am special. Or maybe both.

  11. Gravatar Icon 11 Becky

    Well, my DSL came back last night. Someone at Verizon obviously reads this weblog and got scared (especially by Suzette).

    Glenn, I am happy to do any Scott headsmacking that you require, though word on the street is that you’ll be able to do it yourself this weekend.

    Tom, I confess to using the blender strictly for soup and girly drinks.

    Clair, have you tried moving your DSL to a new place? Do that and get back to me. Also, the problem was mostly phone line related (it took 2 weeks to get phone service, hence the DSL delay).

  12. Gravatar Icon 12 Sherri

    Hi…found your blog on the Philly blog roll. I went through some of your old posts…your writing style is great.

    Good luck with the new job and the new house. ;)

  13. Gravatar Icon 13 Glenn

    There are people on the street talking about my upcoming visit? I told them all to shut up and mind their own business! :)

    As far as the headsmacking goes though… thanks! I sometimes need an agent in philly to take care of Scott for me.

  14. Gravatar Icon 14 Scott

    Hey! No one smacks me in the head without express written permission.

  15. Gravatar Icon 15 Becky

    I’m sure that Glenn would be more than happy to provide his requests in writing.

  16. Gravatar Icon 16 Brian

    Three weeks? No internet? They’d be lucky to get off with being attacked by a drill and a blender.

  17. Gravatar Icon 17 glenn

    Becky is right - I will be happy to submit any of the necessary forms… in triplicate.

    Ps: I am typing this on Scott’s Powerbook (it is extremely annoying to use!)

  18. Gravatar Icon 18 Jay V Mail

    Aww and I was hoping you’d get to use your new drill to make holes.

    At Verizon.

  19. Gravatar Icon 19 Sassy J

    Becky thank god you are back–even if you have transformed into Rosie the Riverter. Is the drill cordless? Mine is and I’m happy to march over to Verizon with you and it in tow. That Clair is pretty thoughtful–cacti gardens for the plant-impaired, lethal home-wrecking tools, and ability to schlep south Philly chic to fishtown. Not to mention he is hot and can brew. I think we should auction him off for some fund-raising for your new place.

  20. Gravatar Icon 20 Chele

    I feel your pain … it took Verizon quite a few times to resume our DSL service once we move too!!!

    Nice to see you become so domesticated!