Phils lose, phans run from scary Abreu doll
Published by Becky S September 6th, 2005 in sports, philadelphia
Do not be afraid. This Bobby Abreu collectible figurine cannot hurt you.
I must express shock and dismay that the Phillies blogs have fallen short in their coverage of the team’s disappointing Labor Day loss. There’s been talk of poor Endy Chavez and pinch runners who don’t run, but why hasn’t anyone exposed the disappointing performance of the Phillie Phanatic?
First phaux pas: the Phanatic skipped the traditional 8th inning Phanatic dance. Instead, there was video of his appearance at the recent Jimmy Buffet concert. Please. Not only were the phans cheated out of a live Phanatic dance, they were subjected to footage of the Phanatic dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and matching shorts that made his butt look huuuuuge.
Even worse, however, was what the Phanatic did during the bottom of the ninth, when the Phillies were valiantly trying to score a few runs and win the game. He did nothing. Didn’t see him anywhere. Phanatic, you let the team them down. Who knows how the game would have ended if you had been pacing on the dugout roof and hexing the Astros.
Back to Bobby: This lugi-hocker is banned from sharing a spot with Schmidt and Carlton.
Maybe the Phanatic was hiding from the 36,000 scary Abreu dolls.
I don’t think the shorts made his butt look huge. I think it was his huge butt that made it look huge.
Here’s my take on the “collectible figurines.” It baffles me why they’d move from the bobble trend. Are you trying to tell me that a Manny Trillo or Gary Maddox or John Kruk bobble head wouldn’t fill the stadium? It’s already been proven to bring 40,000 to the Vet in a season pronounced dead 15 games earlier.
Both are ugly, but the figurines are downright scary and at least the bobbleheads do something.
True, Jeff. Though the bobbleheads break down over time; I’m very that mine still bobble post-move. But yeah, whatever gets people out.
Clair, the Phanatic should not accentuate his huge butt by wearing Hawaiian shorts.
Listen, Type E, having to deal with scary dolls and figurines is part of the Phanatic’s job. There is no excuse.
Question: Isn’t John Kruk’s bobblehead more like a bobblemullett?
It’s hard to say, cuz of the hat. $125 for this?
The Phillies need to take that bobble to the big leagues, with a redesign to match.
That John Kruk doll is even scarrier. Does it spit?
they are all equally scary.