Good Grief!

Thanks to Ken Klein for another edition of the Market Report. The summary:

Bad news all around, except for
Cranberries and apples
Try the new apple diet—move over Atkins.
Pre-packaged salads are a sign of the times, but the old way is better [Ken says that, not me–I’m all about pre-packaged baby spinach; I am lazy].
Read on…

The Market […]

Thanks to Ken Klein for another edition of the Market Report. The summary:

Those of you into slime and nastiness might be interested to know that there are major tomato problems.
Get your red peppers before the price goes up.
Clementines will be arriving in a few weeks.
New York might try to steal all the good produce!
Read […]

Time for Ken Klein’s Market Report! It’s a drama-filled edition:

The Iceberg lettuce growers are up to some tricks.
California strawberries are less sucky.
Idaho potatoes are here.
Watch out for grapes and cantaloupes.
Click below to read the entire article.

The Market Report, by Ken Klein
Klein’s Supermarket, 2401 Pennsylvania Avenue, Philadelphia
Our Hours: M-F 8 AM to 8 PM; Sat. […]

The next, eagerly-awaited installment of Ken Klein’s Market Report is here. Executive summary:

Major tangerine problems cause by the recent hurricanes
OPEC tomatoes?
Iffy cantaloupes
Expensive strawberries and grapes
Did you know that the average cost to bring a truckload of produce from California to the US East coast is $3,775, whereas last year it was $2,650?
Read on for […]

Not surprisingly, Ken Klein does not have good news to share in this week’s Market Report. Executive summary:

Major problems with oranges.
Lemon prices are expected go up.
Pears and grapes are our only hope right now.

Read on for his entire report.

The Market Report, by Ken Klein
Klein’s Supermarket, 2401 Pennsylvania Avenue, Philadelphia
Our Hours: M-F 8 AM to […]

A Market Report technical difficulty! The report arrived via e-mail, but it was the one from last week. So in lieu of an update, I bring you Ken Klein’s food quiz fron last week, which I was too lazy to post. Puns, buns, and a strange menstruation reference.
I am the world’s most […]

For those who have forgotten about the market report, it’s like a stock report for produce. Ken Klein, a local grocer, writes it as a weekly newspaper column and kindly allows me to post it here.
This week’s executive summary:

Tomato damage in New Jersey and Florida has resulted in higher prices.
Blueberries have doubled in price.
Expect […]

Em, the expletive-spewing neighborhood art teacher and amateur cognitive therapist, is in Italy for two weeks.
In her absence, I decided to seek therapy from J the Obscure, soulless office park receptionist extraordinaire. Her advice comes straight from the mouth of her 96-year-old, chain-smoking, South Philly Italian grandmother:
Fuck ‘em all except for six—you’ll need pallbearers.
No […]

What a relief–Ken Klein’s Market Report has mysteriously reappeared. Executive summary:

Shrimp will soon be getting more expensive.
Homeland security is slowing down our produce.
This summer should be a good one for Jersey produce.

The Market Report, by Ken Klein
Klein’s Supermarket, 2401 Pennsylvania Avenue, Philadelphia
Our Hours: M-F 8 AM to 8 PM; Sat. 8 AM to 8 […]

I haven’t received a Market Report in the inbox for the last week or two. I’m hoping that Ken Klein is merely on vacation and hasn’t stopped writing his column. Since I can’t share Ken’s expertise this week, all I can do is pass along my own observations. It’s a poor substitute:

Superwoman […]